This semester has been a non-stop high speed whirlwind since before classes started. It’s like I looked down in August and when I looked up it was November. In case you were wondering, the sophomore slump is definitely a thing in college but it’s different than what you would expect. It’s not due to lack of motivation, it’s more-so due to what feels like a lack of direction.
It’s not as if I expected to have it all figured out by my third semester of college, but admittedly I’ve been feeling very stuck in my mind, in my progression, and in figuring out my plan for the future. As a second year in the program there is still a semester and some change worth of foundation courses required for the major. With that said, my schedule has been jammed pack with major courses, a course for my minor, rehearsals, and various meetings for a few clubs I’m in. Long story short, being swamped and stuck is normal… but it’s also one painfully dreadful combination.
I’ve been searching for inspiration for what feels like forever and in a single day it’s as if my eyes have been opened and I’m truly inspired.
Yesterday was Ailey day. Yes, Alvin Ailey day. A few members from Ailey II taught an amazing masterclass to prelude their amazing show at the Palace Theater last night. This wasn’t my first Ailey experience at all (I’ve done the Ailey summer intensive in New York, seen them perform at least five times, and literally grew up listening to the Revelations soundtrack with my mother in the car) but there is something to be said about having this experience at this point in my life.
Dancing professionally has seemed like a far away pipe dream up until recently. I’m 20 years old and almost halfway through my second year in college, my “future” is only a few years away. I’ve never seen Ailey II perform, nor did I know much about it before yesterday, but seeing these young dancers as living proof that my dreams are possible still gives me goosebumps when I think about it. Imagine, just months after you graduate with a BFA in Dance from your university you are a company member of AILEY II FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. It happens and it is possible!
With that said, however, I’ve spent the past 24 hours reevaluating my current situation:
OSU focuses more on a dancer’s artistry than technique and that is what appealed to me during this application/audition process two years ago. I didn’t apply to the Ailey/Fordham BFA program because I didn’t feel as if I’d fit there and I still feel that way. I’m not doubting my decision to study at this university because I absolutely love it here, but what I’m realizing is that I need to do more. It’s time I start taking the initiative because before I know it, this time will be done and I’ll be out in the real world.
Yesterday was a wake up call, it’s time to start pushing again.
If I say I’m going to make it, I am. That’s it.