Happy full moon + summer solstice everyone!
I don’t know a lot about astrology, but I’ve been trying to gain more knowledge because I don’t think it’s possible for there to be planets out there that have absolutely no effect on us on Earth. So, to share the importance of this period of time I am going to include a Twitter thread from Brittany Josephina, @brittanyphina on Twitter and the face behind Brittspiration.com, to further explain this very restorative period of time—and shameless plug, her newsletters are awesome and you can subscribe on her site here.
To grossly generalize, the full moon in Sagittarius + the Summer Solstice + the end of Mars retrograde has brought us to this pivotal point in life where we are shedding the negativity of our past and beginning to manifest the life that we wish to have. This is the time where we chapters are closed and new chapters begin. This is also the time to purge ourselves of the things that no longer serve us and our goals.
I’m not here to convert anyone to prove that the universe can effect our lives in such a grand capacity, but I will say that I’ve been feeling a clarity and a push to change my narrative which is why I’m writing this post today.
I need to be very real with myself, and I want to do so in a more public way than writing in a journal.
I am at a point in my life where I am preparing for almost everything as I know it to come to an end. Preparing for my senior year of undergrad and being thrown into the real world has scared me into a stupor, for a slightly dramatic visual representation of my emotions. The realization that soon, life as I know it won’t revolve around class schedules, grades and others placing expectations, guidelines or requirements on me has caused me to do some serious self-reflecting this past month.
I’ve learned a lot about myself since being in college and one of those things is that most of my strengths revolve around others and helping them flourish and reach full potential. I take an immense amount of pride in my strengths because they really help me relate to others, but what I didn’t realize until recently is that because of this, my weaknesses revolve around me reaching my own personal goals.
I have no issue going for what I consider “safe” goals like auditioning for opportunities I want, getting good grades or completing projects on other peoples’ timelines. No matter how I feel about a situation I always end up having to go for it eventually, whatever it is, because there is a deadline and an urgency imposed by others. It is what it is, but I tried my hardest and I did it. Unlike those situations, I have the absolute hardest setting personal goals for myself and meeting them. I will plan and plan, and plan and plan and plan and never really follow through. I’ve known this about myself for awhile but I’ve recently discovered it’s because I’m afraid of failing or not meeting my own expectations and the fact that I lack the discipline to put the work in for myself. There’s some serious self-doubt there that I can’t do anything well without someone else involved, telling me what to do in some capacity.
To be quite honest, I hate that. I don’t like feeling dependent on others to feel as if I have direction or purpose. So with that said, I’m working on it.
It’s time for me to stop hiding behind others and start setting goals for my self and actively working toward their manifestation. That’s what I am using this special time to specify. This is the time where I start going out there and betting on myself, for myself, before I start asking others to bet on me.
I wanted to openly express this so at some point I can look back and see how far I’ve come. A wise man once told me that people who write down their goals are way more likely to succeed, so this is me giving it a shot to publicly hold myself accountable. Shout out to Callie’s dad, Gary Lacinski, for the sage advice.
For anyone who feels stuck, and to my fellow up-and-coming seniors that are starting to freak out about the future: know that you are not alone and more importantly, know that you can change your narrative. Let’s promise to truly do the work to reach the goals we honestly desire.